A mother's love.

warning: much maudlin musings ahead and I'm not sure where I'm going with it either. :)

I came across this last night. Absolutely heartbreaking. I can't even imagine what that must be like. The pictures of the nursery. The pictures of their beautiful angel. Why does this happen? Is there anything sadder than the loss of a baby? She could have been any of us who have blogged our way through our pregnancies. You better believe I went up and hugged my babies. How lucky we are.

This story was still on my mind this morning as we went to our Sunday school class. There are three pregnant women in our class. And two others just had babies, plus us. Yep, that's six babies. You could say there's been a baby boom around there. Our good friends are one of the couples that just had their baby on Thursday. Haven't talked to them yet, but apparently the labor was long and hard and ended in an emergency c-section as the baby's cord was wrapped around his neck. Everybody's fine, thank God. But probably not what they were expecting for the birth of their first child. Yet not an uncommon occurrence either. Childbirth is the first time many of us really come close to experiencing how raw, tenuous, miraculous and beautiful life really is. The possibility of death as close as it has ever been, even as it remains distant. Things happen. You just don't know.

There were two couples in our church who had babies born very prematurely last year. One woman was carrying twins and ended up losing one. The other was born prematurely, but is doing great. She is actually one of the pregnant moms in our Sunday school class. The other couple's baby was born even more prematurely and has lots of health issues. He's been in and out of the hospital. Today, he and his mother were at church for the first time that I've seen them there. The mom was so proud as she held her son close in her arms, an oxygen tube under his nose. She cradled him, rocked him and kissed him through the service as he dozed contentedly. I'm sure that she hasn't let him go since the day he was born. I know I wouldn't if he was my child. Such is a mother's love -- holding on and never letting go as long as our babies need us.

a public service announcement.

(courtesy of Sojourners)
____________________________________________

"This Sunday, Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist plans to join
several leaders of the Religious Right at an event they're
calling "Justice Sunday." As promising as that name sounds to
Christians committed to justice and peace, it's not quite what
you think. "Justice Sunday" is a telecast, taking place at a
Louisville, Kentucky, mega-church, that will accuse Democratic
senators of being "against people of faith" because they oppose
President Bush's conservative judicial nominees.

When will the Religious Right stop trying to pretend that they
own religion in America? And when will opportunistic politicians
stop playing the faith card in a blatant attempt to ingratiate
themselves with the Christian community? Join Sojourners in
calling on Senator Frist to stop insulting the faith and
integrity of people with political views that differ from his
own."
_____________________________________________

Click here to take action:

http://go.sojo.net/campaign/frist?rk=x1AVwc519zMdW
______________________________________________________

This is the text of the e-mail to send which you can edit to your liking:

Dear Senator Frist:

As a person of faith, I was dismayed to hear of your participation in this coming weekend's "Justice Sunday" - not because of your decision to support judicial nominees, but because of the event's divisive rhetoric.

To say that Democrats who choose to use the filibuster are acting against people of faith implies that supporting President Bush's judicial nominations and policies is a litmus test of true faith. Behind this implication, Senator, is an assumption that the Religious Right and conservative politicians own religion in America.

The religious vote does not belong to one party or another. Please don't play the faith card by telling people of faith that we must align ourselves with one narrow set of policies.
________________________________________________________________


I'm so on board with the things said above. I think speaking to what is going on in this country with religion and politics is important. I know many serious Christians who are not a part of the religious right, but somehow our hesitation in talking about what we believe has made it easier for the religious right to coopt the discussion and set the agenda.

I love Duke Garden. 

I love purple. 

Peace. 

So true.

"Why ARE Men Happier ?
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from
such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The
garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of
themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.You can be
President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a
white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt
to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.The
world is your urinal. You never have to drive to
another gas station restroom because this one is just
too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which
way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more
pay.Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux
rental-$100.People never stare at your chest when
you're talking to them.The occasional well-rendered
belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut,
blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You
know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires
only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You
get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he
or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs
of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have
strap problems in public. You are unable to see
wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face
stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for
years, maybe decades.You only have to shave your face
and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. Your belly
usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair
of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You
can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have
freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache..
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on
December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier."

(received via e-mail. I didn't write it.)

Holy Roller

Andrew started rolling yesterday and he hasn't stopped since. He's so funny. It's amazing how they can do things with such determination. And, we think he's starting to teethe. Ack. I'm not ready for that sweet, sweet toothless grin to disappear. J was just lamenting the fact tonight that D doesn't cuddle up in his lap anymore before bed for milk and stories. Our babies are growing, growing, growing.

Our pet kitty.

 
Why we like our pet kitty:
Daniel likes her because she doesn't run away from him, she lets him sit on her and squeeze her as hard as he wants. She lets him carry her around. She doesn't try to scratch him and she lets him throw her.
Other good things: She's quiet. She doesn't seem to need to pee or poop. She doesn't eat much. She leaves the baby alone.

parenting dilemnas

So, all of those with a y-chromosome around here have colds. Including the bambino. Of course, he's still smiling. Yesterday afternoon, a cousin of J's dad and the cousin's wife came by to visit. We hadn't seen them since J's dad's funeral back in 1993. They wanted to check out the offspring. When they got here, Daniel thought they were Granny and Pop-pop I think and got excited and started bringing them lots of books to read. Although they wanted to talk to him, I don't think they were very excited about having a 2-year-old with a runny nose climbing on them. And after a few minutes, he realized that we weren't totally paying attention to him, so he started throwing his books and cars around. I never know what I should be doing when he does that when people are over. If it were just us, we ignore him mostly when he's throwing stuff as long as he's not endangering anything or anyone. But when other people are around, it's different. I don't want them to think that we let him go wild or whatever. And then with the runny nose, what do you do? I can't keep him from going around them. If I tried, he'd pitch a fit. We wipe his nose as often as we can, but he screams bloody murder when we do that, which isn't pleasant either.

A new format.

Still tweaking it. Hope you like it. I didn't like the black one that much (no offense to those that might be using that format). One day, maybe I'll learn enough to design my own so I can branch out from Blogger's templates! As soon as I get some free time. :)

Daniel/Sophie 

The Great "Sophie the Stray Cat" Experiment. . .

has ended. Sophie was returned to the animal shelter today. I got a snotty look from the lady working there, but the guy who answers the phone was really cool about it and actually thanked me for bringing her back. I hope she finds a good home. It just wasn't with us.

Bumps in the road.

Things are kind of rough right now. Last week was a low point. Calling the hubby in tears, which he was especially fond of - yeah right. Screaming at the toddler. Feeling so, so guilty. I don't want to be this person. Why can't I deal? Why does it seem like all the other moms around can do this mom thing better than I can? Anyway, I think I've got some post-partum depression going on. It kind of messes with your head. When you feel like you are doing everything wrong, something's definitely not right.

Thank God for PMO. Daniel's back at parent's morning out for the first time in three weeks. They took a two-week hiatus for spring break. Why it had to be two weeks, I'm not sure, but it wasn't a "break" for me. I had the best time going to get delicious coffee at Fosters' Market, doing gift shopping that I can't do with D, working on a baby blanket for a friend who had a baby yesterday and paying attention to the little guy without feeling like I'm neglecting the toddler. Deep breath. Nice.

The cat is still around. I can kind of gauge how the day went by how many times the cat got shoved -- off the counters, off the table, out of the sink, away from the fridge door, away from whatever direction I'm walking in. She tends to be underfoot a lot. She's like a third child. When Daniel is down for a nap and the baby is snoozing, I think to myself, whew, a few minutes of quiet where I don't have to worry about anybody else, but this is when the cat realizes that she has direct, unimpeded access to me. She'll even follow me into the bathroom, as if I don't have enough people watching me pee. This is also the time that she gets shut in the laundry room or a bathroom if she's being particularly pesty or if I'm out of patience.

There was much shoving of the cat on Wednesday. This is the same day that J came home to find me crying on the couch with the baby who was attached to my boob for the zillionth time that day. That was not a good day for anyone, including the cat.

Lest this sound like animal abuse, it's not. It's the kindest, gentlest shoving. Really.

We're going out.

We're watching
Lost in Translation tonight. What a great movie. I never used to like Bill Murray very much. But he's really good in this.

We're going to the movies on Saturday night. The last time we saw a movie in the theater, I think it was Lost in Translation actually. It's been a while.

Oops, Apprentice is on. Gotta go.

What is the point of playgroup, really?

It's not like the kids are playing with each other at this age. And if I'm chasing Daniel around the park (or rather the outside of the park), then it's not like I'm getting good quality adult conversation/commiseration, or any at all really, unless you count listening to the most recent Weight-Watcher/exercise update of one of the moms. Like I'm going to a gym anytime soon. Even if it has childcare. I hate the gym. I'll embarrass myself in the privacy of my own home, thank you. If I leave more pissed off than when I left, what is the point really? Somebody enlighten me, please.

Stripes! 

WOOOHOOO!

They did it! The Tar Heels beat Illinois.

Let the mayhem and bonfire-jumping (?) begin!!

Just try to ignore this. 

Hey! What's this? 

Go Heels! and thank God I'm not 9 months pregnant. . .

like a friend of mine who could go into labor at any moment and then would have to traverse the game night traffic to get to the hospital.

the daily report.

Daniel got a sand box today, one of those plastic green frog ones. He loved it and I'm happy to have another interesting outdoor activity for us. I also got this today. Can't wait to try the dump cake with Daniel.

His language is really taking off lately. We laugh everyday about stuff that he says. He likes throwing stuff in the trash can. Today, he took a paper towel to where the trash can was supposed to be. When he saw it wasn't there, he said, "Where's the trash can?" He knows what "where" means and how to use it.

I am thankful for a good morning at church. We have an awesome Sunday school class.

Hot Dogs and French Fries

Onesome: Hot Dogs--Spring picnics and cookouts are coming! Is it hot dogs or hamburgers you want to have on your plate as you head back to the table?

I love me a grilled hot dog.

Twosome: and-- ...and what else is on that plate that you just cannot be without as you work your way through the crowd? Potato salad? One of those huge pickles? Come on, there has to be something!

I love my mom's potato salad, which is similar to this, but without the cream and sour cream. This is also a favorite.

Threesome: French Fries-- ...and the real toughie: do you have to have "fries with that'? ...or will chips do well enough for you. Just curious...

I like fries, but not for cookouts or BBQs. Chips are fine as long as there's potato salad, too!

Help. I hate our cat!

As some of you know, we lost both of our kitties within one month last fall. They were 10 1/2 years old. In November, we adopted a one-year old cat from the animal shelter. According to them, she had been a stray for pretty much her whole life. She is driving us crazy. She's always begging for food (and we feed her a lot). She won't stay off the kitchen table, counters no matter how much we push her off, yell at her, spray water at her. She'll get right up on the table while we are eating and lay down. Argh. She's been pooping outside the litterbox whether it's clean or not. She pees on the living room couch and who knows where else. Argh. She scratches the furniture. She has scratched the baby a couple of times when she tries to play with his feet as he's sitting in his bouncy seat.

DH keeps saying we should take her back to the shelter. She got out of the house this weekend through an open window, and I wasn't really concerned. I've thought about letting her go outside some, thinking maybe this might calm her down a bit, but I'd feel awful if something happened to her (i.e., she got hit by a car or got lost or something).

With a two year old and a baby, I totally don't need the hassle. But Daniel and she are buddies, kind of. He likes to chase her and lay on her and hug her, etc. She seems to tolerate it until he gets too rough. Then she'll run away. I'd probably want to take her back, too, but there's that.

And, I know this is probably stupid, but I'm afraid the shelter wouldn't let us adopt from there in the future or will think badly of us. When you adopt a cat from there, you agree not to let them be outside cats. In our application, I said that I wouldn't give up an animal unless my kids were allergic or something like that. The cat is microchipped, so they'll be able to figure out where she came from if we gave her back anonymously. And we paid 90-frickin-bucks for her, none of which we'd get back. I don't know if they'd let us put that toward another animal. I like having a cat around, but one that isn't such a pest.

What would you do?

A brief entry for tonight, I think -- we are watching the end of the UNC/Michigan State game. Want to get to bed soon so that I'll get enough sleep tonight.

Bright spots from today:

a laid-back morning hanging out with J and the boys.

J took the boys for a long walk in the stroller in the late morning. It's always a great to have the house to myself even if I had to do some cleaning. The sun was out for a little while and it was warm and sunny. I opened the windows where I was cleaning and let the fresh air in.

We had our family pic taken this afternoon for the church directory. It turned out really well, I think. We had to wake the baby up from a nap, but he smiled real big and was the cutest baby ever. D was a bit more of a handful. He was more interested ine exploring all the photographer's equipment than sitting still for the pictures, but the photographer was good and we got a couple of good shots. Also, a nice one of me with the bambino and of J and I. We tried to get a picture of the boys together, but D freaked out when we asked him to sit on the table. The photographer said it was probably too much like the doctor's office. The only bad thing about it really was the sales pitch at the end. The pics are so frickin' expensive!!! And they don't tell you the prices. I don't even know now how much each picture we bought is. What I do know is that we were not prepared for how much it would cost.

Lastly, J and I were able to enjoy a nice dinner of lamb stew that J made, by ourselves. We managed to get both boys down at the same time and so could eat in relative calm after they went to bed. The lamb stew was very good -- leftover Easter lamb. J is great at making soups, stews, chilis -- he makes other stuff also, but I would say that those things are his specialty.

Good stuff.

Today, I am thankful for a decent trip to Wal*mart with the boys. Good strategy to take off as soon as the little one is heading for his morning nap. I got some new bath towels for us in a deep red and also purple. Purple's my favorite color. Has been at least as far back as the Donny & Marie show. Remember that? I had Donny & Marie dolls with purple outfits. Anyway, also got Daniel some short-sleeved shirts and a shirt to wear for our first family picture tomorrow! We are having our picture taken for the church directory. Got Andrew a little outfit too. Do you know that he's in 6-9 month clothing -- at 3 months.

I am thankful for a fun, giggly, tickling/wrestling match with the toddler and for the coos and newly-learned raspberries of the bambino.

I am thankful for finding a good babysitter -- a nursing student who has tons of experience with kids, including being a nanny for a baby, a two-year-old, and a four-year-old one summer.

I am thankful for a wonderful husband who is great with our little boys.