Again, I love my mother-in-law very much. It's just been a long couple of days.

As I mentioned, she planted a couple of beds for us in our front yard. I was trying to get some stuff done inside the house (bills, bills, bills) while D was at Parent's Morning Out and also tend to A who was fussing. I had wanted to do some errands, but A was fussy and then fell asleep.

I'm so appreciative of what she was doing in the yard (will post some pics soon), but I didn't want to stay out there with her and keep her company while she worked. I had stuff I wanted to get done and wanted to make sure the baby was happy. I don't know if she was a little put-upon that she was doing all this work and I wasn't helping or out there with her.

This is a common theme with her actually. And I think it's more a conflict within herself. She wants to be helpful and do things for us, but in her zeal to be "helpful", she overdoes it to the point where maybe she gets a little resentful. We've all done that before, right? Where you just overextend yourself.

I get caught up with her in this every time. She says that she would "love" to put in some plants for us. "Love, love, love." She's the "master gardener," after all. And I don't dissuade her at all, because she seems so excited and seems to love gardening so much. She does like to garden, but she worked her butt off. Probably more than she bargained for.

But what can I do? You can't tell her to slow down or not do too much. I didn't know that she would require an audience when she did this for us. I should know this by now, though. The same thing happened last time she was here after Andrew was born. She came to help and did tons of cooking and cleaning. I don't know what she wanted from me (and yes, it's something from me, not her son), but I sensed resentment then, too. I think it's difficult to work hard when those around you aren't. At that time, I was still recovering from childbirth and lack of sleep and wasn't going to be doing much of anything whether she was there or not. And when she's getting a bit put-upon, she goes into overdrive. Which is totally aggravating. By the end of that visit, she was practically removing the clothes we were wearing at that very moment in order to wash them. She had washed every speck of cloth in the house, some several times.

It's like she has to prove she's the best grandmother when she's here -- the most helpful, the best advice-giver, the best houseguest. I just want her to be Barb, not the "best." We'd still love her and enjoy her company even if she didn't do half the stuff she does for us. Well, mostly. Heh. I'm kidding.