Toddler hot spots.

As usual, the toddler is trying my patience at every turn. I realized yesterday that there's one point at which I get frazzled almost every morning. After getting everybody dressed, fed breakfast, and after I get some breakfast, probably feeding baby A at some point during all this, and then trying to do some cleaning up of the breakfast mess, I'm ready to sit down for a few minutes and sip some coffee or whatever. Usually, by then, the toddler is happily playing, throwing his cars off the bench in the kitchen or whatever. But this is also the time that he usually does his business, if you know what I mean. So, just as I'm getting ready to relax and enjoy some coffee and recharge the batteries, it's either endure the smell for a few minutes until my "break" is over, but then it's not really a break because you spend it dreading the impending diaper change/wrestling match or go ahead and change it. I usually change it, but this takes the toddler away from whatever activity has been holding his attention for the last little bit of time. And then he wants my attention or the baby needs to be fed again or whatever. There goes my "break." Damn poopy diaper.

Toddlers make so much mess, too. He likes to shove all his toys off this bench that he puts them on in our kitchen. He shoves them onto the floor and then leaves them there. He likes picking random stuff up and just dropping it on the floor. I can get him to pick some stuff up now. This morning, I gave him a little cup with rice puffs and raisins. It was his snack and I was congratulating myself for getting it to him before he started letting me know he was hungry by whining and clingy, but not otherwise SAYING that he was hungry. What did he do? He turned the cup upside on the carpet (on purpose) and then proceeded to come to me upset because it was all over the floor. I can barely clean up my own messes and quite often do not, much less keep up with everyone elses's messes. Everytime you turn around, there's something else to clean up. And it's not like this was an accident either. We have an ant problem in our house, and right now they are turning up everywhere. I think that even if our house was spotless, we'd still have ants, but they are just unrelenting right now if you leave any little speck of food around.

I know I complain a lot about Daniel and at two, he's like a lightning rod for any frustrations I might have in my life whether they are related to his behavior or not. If you are angry or frustrated about something else in your life and here's the toddler whining or throwing a tantrum, it's hard not to take it out on him. It feels like a vicious cycle, too because I'm sure by me getting so angry at him, he's acting out even more. I feel so guilty and get down on myself, which makes me short-tempered and the cycle starts all over again. Hence, the zol*olft.

Anyway, there are some really nice things about Daniel's age. Yesterday, he hugged the little 8-year-old neighbor girl who likes to play with him and said, "I yuv you." It was cute. He'll pat me on the head and say, "It's OK, Mommy." He's into hugs and kisses lately. He's quite the little mimic, too, which is really funny at times. He likes swinging. He likes dancing to music. He loves playing with his matchbox cars and will lay in his crib playing with them. He even sleeps with one in each hand tucked up under him. Forget the stuffed animals. If it has wheels, then it's a treasure. He loves pointing out all the different vehicles he sees when we're riding around in the car. "Cement mixer." "Firetruck." "Pick-up truck." "Mini-cooper." (he's not always right about that one, but it's still funny.)

I know that one day we'll probably be wishing for this time when they are really little. If I could just step back and enjoy some of it, that would be a good thing.