please tell me one more time why getting an epidural is not well-advised . . .

Let me recount to you the oh so many perils of getting an epidural. Now that I've entered into the world of natural childbirthing, I've been drilled on this. Please tell me one more time that epidurals lead to an increased risk of c-section and slow down the labor and can make it difficult for babies to latch on after birth. And just so I really know, please give me yet another handout that tells me all the risks and more. Then, tell me a horror story about a doctor overdosing the epidural by accidently getting the drug in the spinal space so that the laboring mom couldn't feel anything from her neck down. Then give me another visual handout that shows the path of natural childbirth and this peaceful if rocky cooperative journey freed of medical masks and the dreaded semi-reclining position and hospital gowns, while depicting the epidural as a sterile superhighway where you are made to lie in bed and are surrounded by scary medical apparatii and impersonal mask-covered faces. Yes, please show me all this one more time because I'm not quite sure I've gotten it yet. Despite the fact that I've actually hired a doula and consulted over the last few months with a counselor who specializes in childbirth issues and I've been hanging out on my birth ball and doing my perineal massage and practicing squatting and reciting affirmations and working on breathing and relaxation techniques and brushing up on useful labor positions, please just tell me one more time. . .

As if I don't already know from experience. I had a frickin' epidural with my first birth which didn't work to relieve the pain of the pitocin-enhanced contractions -- at all. It was like being in transition for three hours. Meanwhile, my legs were completely numb and I couldn't coordinate pushing when it came time for it. Despite being pumped full of epidural drugs, I had no spinal headaches or aftereffects and Daniel was fine and nursed like a pro soon after he was born. Not that it goes that way with every epidural -- I know. But don't quiz me about epidurals. I'm fully aware that epidurals can cause some prob and lead to an increased chance of c-sections. Certainly, you "enlightening" me about that AGAIN is not going to really have an effect on me. 'Cause you know what? I'm going to work really hard to let things happen naturally and to get as far as I can in labor, but if I get to the point where I can't take it anymore and nothing is working and the baby wouldn't be compromised and I'm at least 5 cm dilated, I'm getting the frickin' epidural.

For those of you who think this is silly to be open to an epidural again even though it didn't work the first time or when they tried to place it again for that matter, maybe it is. But that is one of the reasons we are having a doula. So that I will make it as far as possible and so that we'll have somebody who isn't losing their head in the room if the epidural doesn't work yet again. Plus, I've been reassured that the anesthesiology department is excellent at our current hospital. (Of course, I would have thought it was excellent at Brigham & Women's Hospital in Boston, too. . . ).