A warning.
There will be much wailing and gnashing of teeth around here next week, or maybe bitching and gritting of teeth would be a better way to put it. Dottie & Dave are coming to visit. Why does this always seem like a good idea? It's like I have amnesia or something. Three or four months after each visit, I start to think, hmmm, I wish my parents would come and visit. Crazy, I tell you.
Anyway, they'll have fun, yeah fun, heh, with Daniel. Maybe he can save up a big tantrum just for them. Just kidding. I hope he's on his best behavior, because if he's not, we'll have to hear all of Dottie's theories about what we shouldbe doing but aren't. This usually involves quotes like, "letting him know who's boss." Um, he's 2. This is how 2-year-olds act. Their prime aim is to drive you to the brink of insanity by finding the 5 things that annoy you most in the world and then doing them over and over and over and over and laugh when you tell them not to or put them in time-out for not listening.
Unfortunately, I haven't figured out the best strategy for having conversations with my mom about much of anything, oops, I mean, about parenting. If I respond to her comments, she'll argue with me until the cows come home or take it as indictment of her parenting skills (which it kind of is). If I try to ignore her comments, she'll still keep going on and on, and then my head will explode. Yes, it will spontaneously combust. Into many, tiny pieces. It's not pretty.
Which brings me to the things I'm sure that I will hear about with respect to baby no. 2, the sweetest, squishiest baby that has ever lived. I'm sure she'll make comments about him being "fat." She's totally hung up on people being fat. Yes, even 4.5 month old babies. It's crazy because I don't think she ever exercised a day in her life until she had emergency heart valve replacement, followed by the post-heart-surgery-weight-loss plan. I think I've mentioned before how she harrasses my Dad about his weight, even though he's lost 40-some pounds and exercises almost every day. Anyway, God help me (or her, maybe) if she makes comments about Andrew being "fat." I think she blames it on breast-feeding, too. Ah, that breastfeeding, it's definitely the cause of the weight problems in children in this country. Whatever.
We are just starting solids with Andrew which he isn't really taking to. I'm in no real hurry. I mean, I'd like him to get started eating solid food because I'm not sure how much longer I can sustain an 18 pound baby on milk alone. Geeesh, you'd think I'd be losing a lot of weight, too. Alas, that is not the case. But, if he's not ready, he's not ready. We've got time. For moms who boasted about giving us orange juice at two weeks of age or whatever they were doing when we were coming along, not eating solids until 4-6 months is unheard of.
*sigh*
I'm not always 100% sure that some of the current parenting trends are the absolute right and only way to raise well-adjusted kids, but I know what works for us and I know what didn't work for me as a child, so there's not a whole lot of parenting advice I'll take from Granny D, at least not the unsolicited kind.
But I do look forward to seeing them enjoy their grandchildren, and they do. Dottie will enjoy holding the baby. Daniel can be really cute and he has a great time with his PopPop. I think I just need to get an I-Pod to drown out the free "advice".
And hopefully, we'll score a date night out of their visit, too.
posted by suze @ 9:45 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
Your mother sounds a lot like my MIL. My oldest son was off the charts for most of the first year of his life, and she kept asking, "What are we going to do about his weight?" We aren't going to do anything, but it wouldn't hurt you to hit Jenny*Craig, I always wanted to say.
Well, it all came off once the kid became mobile and started running, and now his weight is simply average.
My MIL, however, could still use that Jenny*Craig time.
Ha ha ha! Are you sure we're not sisters? I think we share a mom. However, my mom is actually worried that my son doesn't eat enough. You wouldn't wonder that if you saw him...he's quite healthy and full of energy, that's for sure!
My mom kept telling me what I was doing was wrong, too, w/o me asking. She's a big proponent of spanking, and I'm definitely not. Sooo, I wrote on my blog about it, asking other people what they thought. That started the upset feelings. Then I wrote on one that my mom was driving me nuts with her advice, and that I wasn't comfortable with it all (she swore after the spanking one she'd never read it again! She still does!). After that, she was really upset with me. Guess what, though--no more advice! She just loves on TJ now, and lets me do my thing! Maybe you should get your mom to start reading your blog!
I'm so sure that in 30 years time our children will be looking at us and saying "Oh their parenting advice is SOOOO outdated - can't they see that breastfeeding/no smacking/holding off solids til 4 - 6 months etc etc etc is just soooo wrong?"
I have HUGE babies, and I breastfed them exclusively til around the 5 month mark, when solids started (actually breastfed for more than a year all up). I thankfully had most people comment on how "healthy" they looked and how they should be poster children for breastfeeding, as they were SO chubby.
My parents didn't mind the weight of my kids, but they did try to give them solids at a very early age! (and of course, wine at 3 months old too...!)
Hi suze,
... twinkles in my eyes ... thanks to your blog A warning..
CAn I make a comment? Keep going on with your blogging info and thoughts.
It provokes some interesting thought and inspiration during my long lonely search on single parenting .
Thanks again.
Hi suze,
Your enlightment on A warning. makes me smile :-)
It has got me thinking, which will help me in my search for the lastest info on parenting skills .
Thanks!!
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