OK, I've come back out of my dark place.

At least for now. Heh. Of course, it could have to do with the fact that the toddler is asleep right now.

No, seriously. It's finally dawning on me that Daniel is just getting to a difficult stage. It happens to correspond with having a new baby in the house, but it probably would have been happening all the same. The whining. The not-listening. Etc.

Another point of insight. Somebody told DH that when you have kids, at different stages of their development, you have strong and sometimes confusing reactions to them and their behavior. This happens because things resonate with you from your own upbringing and quite often, it catches you off guard. For example, when Daniel just wanders around aimlessly acting like he's bored, looking for mischief when I'm nursing Andrew or trying to do something else, it makes me beserk, I can't tell you. Growing up, I was quite often bored out of my mind. I loved going to school. I hated the summer. My mother (yes, it always goes back to my mother) never wanted to drive me anywhere. Day after day, she stuck to her routine and I just had to play along. I loved it when I was old enough to babysit in the summer, because I could get out of the house and play. Anyway, so when Daniel's acting all bored (yes, I know, he's only two -- but this goes to the "catching you off guard" part), it's proof that I'm failing, failing to entertain him, failing to stimulate his little mind, failing to make sure each moment is packed with fun and excitement. Oh, the standards we set for ourselves.